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  • Writer's pictureTory Anne Brown

More on Meandering

Sipping my second cup of coffee already this morning and it's only 6:45. I've been thinking about everything and nothing - Christmas's past, this being the first Christmas in our new home, and writing in general. Wondering where this crazy life of mine is going to take me in the next year. Fulfilling promises, not making promises I cannot keep, taking care of 'me'. My eBay business. Branching out with my writing, reluctant to commit to someone else's timeline if I do. The worry in the back of my brain that says my lung issues might be more than just allergies. Thinking that weight loss may help. Being concerned about my grandchildren and my nieces and nephews. Knowing that I've not been the best mother a mother can be and trying to compensate by being there for my grandchildren and nieces and nephews - a 'do-over' of sorts. Back awake again. Processed Christmas, then went back to bed for a quick sleep before Christmas morning present-opening. I scored some new pens and a planner in my stocking, as well as a mini-tape measure to carry in my purse. Hubbin brought me coffee, yay me!

I've noticed that at these times, it serves the purpose of getting my thoughts down onto 'paper', but always helps me escape the moment. I wonder about that word I used though, "escape". It is totally 'me' time, nobody else can live in that moment with me; I am totally alone when I'm writing-the world and all that it brings with it (which lately has been drama), simply fades into the background. Like right now. I'm sipping my coffee and the dishwasher is doing its thing but until I just typed this line, I didn't even hear the thing running. It's the same with all that's going on with me. It serves to still my thoughts that can sometimes run rampant. The last two days are a perfect example. I flew out early Monday morning, picked up a moving truck that had its own drama, then yesterday drove it from Chicago to St. Louis. Got in late last night, did a load of laundry and then fell into an exhausted sleep. This morning we will unload said truck and I'll drive it to the rental company then catch my flight home. I have a plane change connection in Dallas which I hope to make (the timing is tight), then I'm home for Christmas and Hubbin again. This is my last trip for a while and I'm happy about that, since the last time I was home it looked like we had either just moved in, or I had become a hoarder. I know it's my eBay and Christmas stuff, but I'd be embarrassed to have anyone drop in at this moment! So when I get back, the presents will come out of the delivery boxes, get wrapped, and put under the tree, and after Christmas, we will start the dining room project. We have lots to do but I've been out of home projects mode since the middle of October when the family asked if I could help get them moved from Chicago. I've kept my word. And now it's 'me' time again.

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